I'm a nerd...been one all my life. And I've been driven by a singular motivation all my life- To earn more money. It began with wanting that red, white and blue square label on the sleeve of my top, then wanting that crushed black silk off-shoulder dress to lately dreaming of an Oscar De La Renta.
My mum thankfully instilled lots of self-pride into me to earn things myself than to lean on someone who earns gold biscuits. But I did go ahead and base my career decisions on it. I could have been a real writer and not an abstract blogger..I could have translated the designs in my head to patterns on cloth rather than hoping that the tailor would deliver to my taste. But instead, here I am a passionate marketer with just a perspective on things that someone else creates.
Words like S.A.F.E, BACKUP and REVISION continue to dictate my life even now. To uproot myself is difficult to fathom. Don't know what it'll feel like to break away from the comfort of shiny paper bags. Then I think a little more and it feels what I fear is answering the larger-than-life question 'Who am I'? which is now synonymous with 'What do I do'. Well why can't it be as simple as- I'm (someone who loves to sing) or (a really great friend to have) or (neck deep in love with my boyfriend).
I have this very strong feeling that I will not regret letting go off a 10 lakh salary jump, neither will I regret not building enough resourceful contacts or being considered flaky. What I will instead have qualms about is:
Not being enough of -an affectionate daughter, a doting wife, a helpful friend, a rock solid sibling
Not being able to walk in the clouds because I was too afraid to trek up that mountain
Not being able to travel far and wide because I needed luxurious stays
Not being able to deal with my finances because I don't understand investments or tax or internet banking
Not reading all the books I've wanted to read because of lack of time
Never being able to sing the same way again as I used to 7 yrs back
....Not having contributed anything significant to the country or to the world ....Now that is mediocre!
And no amount of money will make up for the mediocrity.
So I don't HAVE to fare well in the next appraisal, neither do i NEED to be seen in good light by my boss, I also don't HAVE to echo someone else's thoughts. All I need to do is just LIVE....
For my life won't be defined by designations from now...it'll be defined by doing all the things which I thought I could never do....So I'm going to go Play! :)
My mum thankfully instilled lots of self-pride into me to earn things myself than to lean on someone who earns gold biscuits. But I did go ahead and base my career decisions on it. I could have been a real writer and not an abstract blogger..I could have translated the designs in my head to patterns on cloth rather than hoping that the tailor would deliver to my taste. But instead, here I am a passionate marketer with just a perspective on things that someone else creates.
Words like S.A.F.E, BACKUP and REVISION continue to dictate my life even now. To uproot myself is difficult to fathom. Don't know what it'll feel like to break away from the comfort of shiny paper bags. Then I think a little more and it feels what I fear is answering the larger-than-life question 'Who am I'? which is now synonymous with 'What do I do'. Well why can't it be as simple as- I'm (someone who loves to sing) or (a really great friend to have) or (neck deep in love with my boyfriend).
I have this very strong feeling that I will not regret letting go off a 10 lakh salary jump, neither will I regret not building enough resourceful contacts or being considered flaky. What I will instead have qualms about is:
Not being enough of -an affectionate daughter, a doting wife, a helpful friend, a rock solid sibling
Not being able to walk in the clouds because I was too afraid to trek up that mountain
Not being able to travel far and wide because I needed luxurious stays
Not being able to deal with my finances because I don't understand investments or tax or internet banking
Not reading all the books I've wanted to read because of lack of time
Never being able to sing the same way again as I used to 7 yrs back
....Not having contributed anything significant to the country or to the world ....Now that is mediocre!
And no amount of money will make up for the mediocrity.
So I don't HAVE to fare well in the next appraisal, neither do i NEED to be seen in good light by my boss, I also don't HAVE to echo someone else's thoughts. All I need to do is just LIVE....
For my life won't be defined by designations from now...it'll be defined by doing all the things which I thought I could never do....So I'm going to go Play! :)
love it love it love it! Have been thinking on similar lines since the longest time! phew! why o why are ROI so imp...wrote a similar piece "ROI vs education" in my blog---but am still wondering!
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