Off late I've been noticing that people gawk at me the moment I happen to mention that I did not move away from my parents to enjoy an independent patch but instead that I happen to use a word for the lack of a decent enough synonym in first-person narrative: 'Husband'. I've been trying to second guess the reasons for their display of amazement which comes through side-head-tilts with a thought blurb saying 'ohh poor girl she must've been caged and forced to marry' or a nod in slow-mo hinting at 'these kids they don't quite understand the complexities so far' or a faint smile which says 'dive into the well sweetie, we're in it together'.
You see, the days of ramrajya are only partially over in India and that has left us confused. I'd have to admit that I do feel deeply indebted to my partner for his towering tolerance of my pre-menstrual tantrums... his age, title or car has nothing to do with the respect he earns. We carry forward traditions and certain rituals because it gives us a reason to abandon monotony for what seems like milliseconds and celebrate; the original intent behind these, remain imprints in thin dusty books which are cleaned and chanted with utmost devotion at x.pm. Face it, marriage today is not that sacrosanct an institution for the sake of it and thankfully so. But we are at crossroads where a tiny red dot on your forehead, a gaudy red set of plastic bangles or a warm domestic smile are trademarks that a set of people clandestinely look for. At the other side of the street there exist 30 somethings who scoff at giving their space up. Post 10pm when they get back from their plush MNC wannabe gleaming sky-scrapers, sucked out of all energy they like to enjoy an hour at the gym for which they get expensive plunging Lycra necklines in the hope of finally raising a few eyebrows or maybe they need some 40 solitary minutes with a drink while they plant themselves in front of the TV. Ok this might be a wee bit exaggerated because there are others too who move off to a different trajectory and enjoy yoga vacations in the mountains till the others around them dawning white decide to dawn red. I've seen quite a few and by now have a 'dating won't help' theory. Let me explain: It takes three to four years for the numbness to set in...the numbness that the big bad world bestows on fresh college graduates, cut-throat competition induces objectivity and reduces faith, we unlearn a few things- to share, to smile and to cut some slack. The first few years we are still soft clay, we can be cast in the mould we choose but as the years multiply, cynicism takes over. And most end up fixated and over-opinionated used to doing things their way that they will make no tweaks for someone to fit in. Changing their bed side would amount to re-jigging their lives. Tired they make their way into matrimonial columns or take dart shots at others who've got company for a cup of tea and refuse to invite them because of their constant cribbing.
Its not that married people don't want to relive singledom... if you leave it to them they'd like more frequent Sunday brunches with girlfriends, half-a-day to cool off while watching Neo Sports, drunken nights without being mothered around and a lot of them still hide their rings when they're dressed up to the nines.
For the eligible singles whats more disconcerting is that TinselTown begins to lose all shimmer when you're grooving with Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber. And for those few women who're still looking to find true love..don't give up hope...just get out of Delhi!
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